This is mostly for Natalie (because LJ deleted my friggin' well-thought-out comment RRRRRAHHHRRRGGHHH); all current RPGers and non-nerds can feel free to skip it (not like you don't). Bryce will probably be able to find fifty things wrong with it, but here's my uberbrief explanation of the kind of RPG we were talking about:

+ RPG = An acronym for Role-Playing Game. In this case, not a video game one like the Final Fantasy series or an online one like Shea's used to (i.e., "*dies dramatically*"), but one where the players actually create their own characters (and to some extent, their own world and storyline) and play them through the story, usually going on cool adventures and fighting things for no real reason along the way. XD For this type, the players would probably meet somewhere IRL every once in a while (err, that is, physically see each other rather than play online, often every two weeks or so) and one session would probably last for at least several hours. The one we're talking about would use a system called...

+ GURPS = or the General Universal Role-Playing System. A system here is basically a set of rules for the game that allows different groups of RPers all over the world to play in the same way and network. There are a lot of systems for RPing (I was raised on the Tri-Stat System, which is a much-simplified little sister of GURPS), but GURPS is the most popular (although some groups will be more strict about following all the rules perfectly than others). Here's how it works, in a nutshell: You create a character. There's a very specific formula for doing this--you can't just say "My character's name is Natalie, and she's a musician"; you have to say, "My character's name is Natalie, she's a musician, and she has these umpteen stats, levels of skill at various things, strengths and weaknesses, etc., etc." Once you have that character, she goes through the story with the others (the story is led by the GM, who we'll get to in a minute). But certain events in the story are left up to chance. For example, even if you character Natalie is a very skilled flautist, she won't always hit that high note perfectly every time. So if you want Natalie to play that note, you take her level of skill on the flute, roll some dice and do some number-crunching, and the results will tell you if she got it out or not. Obviously, she's more likely to do it if she has a higher level of skill--you have so many points with which to make up a character and you choose how to use them (to sort of "buy" your character's strengths, although adding weaknesses will give you back some points). So if you want her to be a very good musician, you'd give her points there, but it might mean that she's not that good at hand-to-hand combat or something. The story is controlled by the...

+ GM = the Game Master. Sort of like the storyteller. He (or she, of course) doesn't have his own character, but he kind of gets to play god and pull some strings in exchange. The GM might say, for example, "It's a bright sunny day and you decide to go to the park for a walk. Suddenly, a fearsome monster jumps out from behind a tree! What do you want to do?" and you as the player could choose whether you want to fight it, run away, call for help, etc. (but some things aren't under your control--the GM might make you roll some dice to see if you get too scared to do anything, and once you take your stats into account there's not much else you can do about it). And if you take care of the monster and then meet your old buddy Lizzie in the park, but there's no player controlling the character of Lizzie, the GM will play that part in the story. In this case, Lizzie would be an...

+ NPC = a Non-Player Character; one not directly controlled by one of the players (i.e., the GM will play them when they come up in the story). Most of the characters, in fact. But our character Natalie is a...

+ PC = a Player Character. Obviously, one of the players in the group is controlling this character. Usually, you'll only play one character at a time, although it's technically probably possible to do more.

(Hexboards, which my friend Bryce mentioned in his comment, are used for battles. It's basically a visual representation of your position on a battlefield, as well as those of the other players and enemies. Hexes [think of them like squares on a chessboard] are a way of seeing what's in your character's field of vision and where he can move or attack.)

Right now, I think Matt and Bryce are co-GMing (don't ask me how that's gonna work; I'm just a n00b) and the setting is going to be something like your standard Fantasy World(TM). So pretty normal stuff, but obviously if you have two GMs and only three members total in your group, you also have a mechanics problem. Which is why I'm hitting everyone up to join the group, yo.

(Oh, and the hot Asian chick thing is just a kink of Bryce's, Nat. XD He wants someone to ease his loneliness if those wacky hormones get the better of me during the game while Matt's around. Pay him no mind. Although you should probably meet him; you two really might get along. god only knows what's up with the Angel of Murphy thing, though. XD)

All right, second time I've typed that and I'm sick of looking at it. Gonna sprint off and get a shower in before anyone gets back around here. But seriously, this'll be really cool if it ever gets off the ground, and now that you guys all know what it's all about you're going to join, right? ...RIGHT?!?!

Good. I thought so.

I know this is another one of those harebrained schemes (remember that discussion club? Bryce? Nil? *pokes all around*), but: would any of you gamer-type nerds out there actually be interested in starting an RPG? And would anyone want to GM? I know a couple of people said they might be into it, so just throwing it out there.

New icons again. 'Cause my attention span is getting ever shorter, slowly but steadily, over the summer. Probably a new layout soon too. (And about a hundred new icons at digitalidol, but I probably shouldn't admit that I have that much free time.)

Unfortunately (am I really saying this?), I do have that much free time. I should have that translation finished by tomorrow, and I am actually...cleaning. Seriously, picking up the floor of my room. I might even vacuum. It's like a revolution. It'll last about two days.

Speaking of revolutions, Web Boy (well, it's either him being a little lazy or someone who's averse to the idea of capital letters) has done something interesting to the forums. Which are dying, also slowly but steadily. I'm glad to have the summer; I'm not feeling particularly enthusiastic about next year in general. Either my temper's getting shorter or humanity is just getting increasingly inane, because I'm starting to realize how many people at this school just friggin' get on my nerves. Unfortunately, I'm not convinced it's getting any better.

Meh. Oddly enough, I don't really feel like writing.

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I seem to be investing more time in lame LJ trends again lately; here's another one:

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So the beach was pretty cool and the SAT was pretty uncool, but who didn't see that one coming?

As the closest thing to a resident Photoshop expert this house has, it fell to me to edit my sister's profoundly hideous graduation pictures so she was, y'know, smiling or looking at the camera or something. Not going to post the shot I'm working on because it's still in prelims, but I can finally justify my love affair with Photoshop. (I came up with about eight reasons why all my mucking around with LJ icons was developing useful skills and presented them to Matt, who glanced at them and said something like, "...so, it's basically just this neat random thing." I swear it really does serve some kind of purpose! -_-;;) I took a couple of really cute shots of her tonight, cropped her head out of one of them, and plopped it in the post-graduation picture. The color's still not quite right, and it's obviously amateur work, but someone who wasn't looking for it wouldn't know that it wasn't the original. So I feel like my existence has been justified for the day.

Other work continues: those business translations for Dad (although I'm only about halfway through, because I've been lazy), SAT prep, staying up and sleeping in late, driving, writing, horrible karaoke, Harvest Moon BTN, origami, and overeating.

I should mention to any members of the flute section who read this journal that the band rehearsal is this Thursday (June 2nd) at 5 PM, and leadership report time is 3:45. Show up or bad things will happen to you. Like, if I spontaneously decide to bake cookies for the members of the section who come to the rehearsal and you don't come to the rehearsal, you won't get any cookies. Hint, hint.

Thursday morning is decidedly swimsuit shopping with Nat and Nat's little sister, and Friday is the beach~ Yeah, I know you people are always whining that you hate the beach, the water, the sun, hot guys in only one article of clothing, getting sand in your pants, etc., but anyone who's free that day should definitely come along. And if my family's driving and not hers, Kyle, I'm looking at you most specifically. C'mon. You know you want to.

Have yet to come up with any Vertigo tickets. I begin very slowly to despair.

Should probably come up with an EE topic. Damn, I suck.

New icons. Because RENT = <3. I don't even own an iPod, but the commercials are cute and it's the latest trend in iconmaking circles, so nyeh. XD

Yeah, all the other paragraphs in this entry are gonna read pretty much like that one, so don't expect anything too intelligent tonight.

The Vertigo tix I'm watching are getting very expensive and it's making me very nervous. Still shopping around. I feel like I should be trying to get something substantial done (cram for SAT, translate business documents from Spanish, socialize, sleep in late, etc.), but I don't actually feel like doing anything substantial. Or writing anything substantial, for that matter.

Bleh. New clothes. Haven't written much of anything serious. I think Nat and I are going swimsuit shopping and to the beach this week. I'm going to come back horrendously sunburned. But then I'll have a really bad-ass tan and I can go snicker in ESoD's face. So there.

Okay, fine, I admit it, I have nothing to say.

A couple of auctions for a pair of Tampa Vertigo tickets going on eBay tonight--one at $107, one at $180. One for a single, but who cares. I'm going to keep watching this--Florida state law limits the resale price, so I can't pay more than something like $380 even for really great seats, and considering that this is the sole event I'm doing for any birthday I've had within the last three years (when's the last time I had a party, when I turned fifteen?), I am going to save every cent I get between now and November and get those tix no matter what I have to do. (Love me? Any donations to the Please Please For the Love of god Send Elisabeth and Matthew to the U2 Concert Fund would be greatly appreciated. Not that I'm getting my hopes up. But Dave, don't you still owe me Christmas AND birthday presents? A couple years back?)

My sister also graduated today, but of course that is soooo much less important than the Vertigo tour. XD

Fwee. Grandparents are in town for Piege's graduation tomorrow, Dad is making his super-fantastic chips in the kitchen, and I am tired. Self-sacrificing individual that I am, I'm gonna go take the bio exam tomorrow, but other than that I'm done with class for this year. Can't decide whether I'm happy or not--the year was a blast, but I'll be glad to relax a little, but I don't know what I'm going to do with myself all summer, but I won't have to get up so early, but I won't see my friends every day, but...well, y'know.

I stopped by the band room today and heard the news, though: 45 flutes next year. 18 gunkies. It's going to be insane. No idea how we're going to train all those people, and my last day at UVA is leadership day, so I'll miss that. I've got some big plans for the section this year, though, especially the gunkies. I want to get some videos of the horn section for them to watch, and make Sean work with them at band camp, and take them to drill team practice. Theoretically, this will teach them precision, but it might just bore them to tears. Nonetheless, we're gonna hold our own and win section of the year! Yeah!

Biggest section (of any instrument) ever at SHS, bigger than Haggerty's entire band program. Damn, Gilbert. It's on.

Gotta get my cursing out over the summer, along with all the other negatively influential traits I'm packing. XD It was funny. During the band trip I was on a roller coaster at Busch Gardens (Williamsburg) with two of the (this past year's) gunkies from my section, the Stephanies. We were at the top of this massive drop, and they looked down and cried simultaneously, "Holy shit!" So of course I looked, saw the drop for the first time, and screamed, "HOLY SHIT!" a beat later. They spent the entire fall laughing so hard they almost unhooked their harnesses while I screamed like a friggin' banshee. When we got to the bottom, they explained, "We didn't think you ever cursed!" Hah.

I'm extremely pissed off about the Vertigo tour (U2) at the moment, actually. Apparently tickets have been on sale for more than two months (keep in mind, this concert is almost six months away from now), but I didn't know it, and now they're bloody sold out for the Tampa show--which was my big plan for my 18th birthday. I'm praying that I can pick some up somewhere else on the net--scalped on eBay, probably--but I'm gonna have to pay through the nose for them if I do. I don't go to concerts (except classical, where you can still get tickets a half hour after the show starts half the time), so I had no idea this was so crazy. The cheapest tickets were $49.50, and the most expensive $190--oh, my god. And try getting a pair. If anyone has any idea where I might be able to find a couple of tickets for the November 16th show in Tampa, I will give them my soul and have their children, even if it requires major surgery in Switzerland to be medically possible. I am going to this concert and taking Matt with me if it kills me.

I think a catnap might be in order before I get up to work again.

So there I was, plunked down on the floor surrounded by stacks of origami and construction paper several feet taller than I am, making thank-you cards for anime club hosts, and Mom leans against the doorjam and says, "You know, they're making a RENT movie." I don't think I've shrieked that loudly since the last time someone said "Roy Mustang."

It's coming out in November (the 11th, to be exact), and they're using a lot of the Broadway actors (OCR for Mark and Roger--thank god, because a couple of the actors for Roger have had horrendously whiny voices). Rosario Dawson (Sin City, remember her?) is going to play Mimi, of course. Okay, so the show's a little schmaltzy (actually, I say this only from the music -_-;;), but it's also cool and quirky and pretty intelligent, so IMO it's more worthy of your time than, say, The Phantom of the Opera. So this fall I am totally tying Matt up and dragging him to see this with me, and any of the rest of you who haven't had nervous breakdowns yet by then. Ditto the U2 concert. Actually, next November is going to be awesome with both those events and my eighteenth birthday. First thing I'm doing is buying a huge stash of gay porn and planting it all in Dave's backpack. XD

What else is going on? I'm going to do section leader again next year in band, which is kind of a relief. Porter told me they wanted me there because there weren't many other candidates for the office (idea being that they needed someone with experience), and I made a point of stressing in my interview that I probably wouldn't have the WE class next year (I almost hope not, actually, because then I can take Newspaper). And Romi's a drum major, so it's going to be an excellent year. My ego has a slight bruise on its arm that's turning yellowish, but once I get past the ego trip I have to admit that I really didn't want to do either of the council jobs. So all in all I'm pretty pleased with the way things are working out.

The anime club party is tomorrow, and I'll be glad to get it over with successfully; I feel like there are a million things I'm forgetting to do. Got the cards made, Liz is ordering the pizza, Web Boy's tackling his half of the trivia questions and skit characters (he and Liz and I are going to do a skit roasting someone in the club XD), we've got the stuff to show set up...only problem is that even I have no idea what time it's ending! Mrs. Swaynos hasn't been here all week to tell us. And I'm thinking I may need to buy some extra soda, but other than that I think we're pretty much on top of things. After this we wrap up the accounts and call it a year. I'm looking forward to the summer.

Did I mention I'm definitely going to UVA for the writing program? It's a little longer and a little more intensive, and it leaves my Metrocon free. Looking forward to it, and we're going to try to get up to NYC for a few days for some college visits. And it's starting to look like I'm going on that Europe trip next summer after all. Talk about crazy.

I've been making lots of icons with all this bizarre time on my hands, so I'll post some of those sometime soon. Not much new writing, though. Hey, maybe over the summer...yyyyeah.

Actually remembered to burn Amy's Madlax, so I'm getting ahead on something, at least. We're not doing anything in class tomorrow (I mean this 100% literally--study hall in every single period) and attendance no longer counts, so I'm going to cut and sleep in. It'll be the first time I've actually been absent all year, so I'm thinkin' I deserve it. Besides, I'm getting a cold. ;__; I'll show up in time to set up for the party.

As a matter of fact, I just started to sniffle within the last two hours and that means that the next couple days are gonna be a bitch. Maaaaybe I'll just be crashing now...

Kraaaw, tired. It was sprinkling a bit but now it's stopped. I feel like I have nothing to say these days.

Things even remotely worth mentioning (grasping at straws here):

+ Apparently Johnny Depp is going to be in KH2. Not to mention Auron, which we already knew. My life may now revolve solely around beating KH so I'll know what the hell is going on when I see them. And can impress them with my conversational back knowledge.
+ I'm developing this extreme addiction to peanut butter crackers. They are exactly 180 calories a package. I may explode.
+ Looks like I won't be taking any finals this year. Hah.
+ The party is slowly but surely coming together, more the first one than the second. I feel terrible about all my commitments, but I think I might just be burned out for the year. It's so hard to be energetic all the time, y'know?
+ = premature onset of senioritis.
+ Delerium is actually not bad, Kyle. Kinda ambient Evanescence light techno thing going on.
+ Speaking of bands that are not bad, Liz was listening to Garbage earlier too. See, Bryce, I told you they're cool. I'm not the only one here. *bastion of Garbage defense*
+ My feet are going to crumble spontaneously into dust someday from overexposure to impractical heels.
+ Is my gmail account not working?
+ Is my brain not working?

New tired sound effect: flehhhh.

Meh, so the banquets were kinda lame, but that's life. Actually, I'm lying; BX was nowhere near as bloody a bath as I was expecting. The food was not quite mediocre (oh, Altamonte-Orlando Hilton, how could you let me down after all the events I've shared with you? Mediterranean pasta should have a nice light wine sauce!), but the presentations were hilarious, so things kinda balanced out. Matt called around ten and I got to talk to him, for which I was wildly grateful.

Went out with Kyle today! Caught up on the latest gossip and while we were at it caught The Interpreter. Had a great variety of decadent strawberry-banana-type foodstuffs. And a lot of other junk food. My junk food intake for the weekend has been enormous. It was sooo good to see him, though, and hear the news.

The week is looking kinda lame as well. Anime club party Friday--lotsa prep still to do--and over the weekend I've got these ultra-tentative plans with Tyler and possibly Amy. I haven't been out for coffee or a nice light lunch in a while; I'm thinkin' we've gotta find something cool to do. Assuming those big bad college students can stand hanging out with a kid like me, that is. ^__^

Hey, odd question: is anyone else out there obsessive-compulsive regarding pen caps? I mean, can you not stand it when someone leaves a pen uncapped or unclicked so that the point isn't retracted? It drives me crazy; I go around my house capping pens. My mom has started leaving them open just to send me up the walls. So is this an isolated phenomenon, or is it normal?

No homework this weekend because Matt has my calculator and I have lost my math textbook (locker? friend lending? quien sabe?). I'm gonna pull the "I had four days of exams" card. Check back to see if it works. XD

Well, one down, two to go. Zonked beyond belief--at 11 PM, find me in a formal dress, sweeping the pitch-dark Sanford Civic Center. I kid you not. But the banquet went really well, although it frightens me just slightly that I am no longer capable of spending long periods of time dancing without someone there to undergo voluntary molestation. Maybe I never was. Hmm.

Minky and I had both bought extra tickets that ended up being unused, so we decided to be each other's dates just as friends. This was better than it sounds, because he was essentially dressed as Al Capone and I was a moderately acceptable Marilyn Monroe. Gotta come up with something cool to wear to banquet next year--with the pimp thing last year and the gangster thing this time around, I'll really have to have my act together. A couple of the horn players and I are loosely planning on ordering custom-made Technicolor zoot suits (which will be produced by Charlie; oh dear), but we'll see.

The brunch will be okay, but apparently the BX banquet is going to be populated primarily by spastic underclassmen, so this is not sounding like my kind of event here. I'm up for some formal dress/hotel food/bother Dave, but not more avoid obnoxious people/spend large portions of evening "fixing makeup" or "getting fresh air"/become sulky. Can't think of any excuse to ditch (paid admission charge 2/3 of prom ticket cost, Klein would stab me, mother would stab me, nothing better to do at the moment anyway), so I think I'm just gonna grit my teeth and think of England. I may slit my wrists with a butter knife if I have to look at any of those cute nerdlet couples, though. Rrrawwwr.

Hmm, time to play "which one of the members of my household has been eating all the damn potato chips?" 'Cause it wasn't me. Another bag disappears every two days; no wonder I can't control my weight in this environment.

...or maybe it's the penchant for comfort food. Oh, Godiva, my love, you make everything so much better.

Well, hell, at least exams are over until finals, there's only one major assignment this weekend, and I only have one teacher attempting to keep up the facade of actual work. Totally slaughtered the Spanish exam today, which is really a damned shame since it doesn't matter what I get (score will be erased anyway when I take HL next year). But hey, it got me outta doing math homework for today, and in the end, isn't that what really matters?

Urk, 12:30. Going to bed.

Exam diary, the past week:


My audition probably sounded semi-competent to anyone wearing moderately thick earplugs on the first floor. Other than that, not so much. No, seriously, it was okay--botched a lot of the technical work in the second Peter excerpt, but I didn't do anything crazy terrible. Orchestra auditions always depress me though, because the judges are always beyond serious. I don't mean professional; I mean doing convincing executioner impressions. Which is scary, because they're all nice people in a more casual context. But hey, it was my last one! And hopefully it went well, but my schedule next year's going to be so crazy that I think I might turn down pretty much any position I get anyway, so...why worry? Oh, well. We shall see.

Paper 3 was okay. I completely owned a question about Wallace's Line, which was what we were going over during the cram session at Anjum's house when we all broke out into hysterics from exam exhaustion. Had a similar moment on Paper 2--we got an essay question about gel electrophoresis and I almost stood up and screamed, "HELL YEAH I KNOW THIS!" during the middle of the exam. I believe IB may have a rule against this, though. It's probably in the Vade Mecum.

In fact, while I'm still feeling in an exammy mood, I'll go ahead and amuse the IB nerds in the house with a continuation of my Fun Things to Do in the Middle of IB Events series. So, ( Fun Things to Do During AP/IB Exams. )

Shakira is way, way better in Spanish. Seriously, tell me "Suerte" isn't significantly cooler than "Whenever, Wherever." Possibly because her English lyrics tend to read like major Engrish, although they sound okay.

(Edit, several minutes later: I lied. That pechos line is still in there in Spanish. Maybe I'm just missing the artistic statement here, but that may be one of the most inane lyrics I've ever heard. Well, at least she's a little less comprehensible in Spanish, so the lines like that aren't as glaringly obvious.)

All the freshmen are super-psyched about the BX banquet, which is kinda making me roll my eyes. I can barely remember freshman year. -_- Maybe it was repressed. But I hang out with very few of the same people (at least, the same people as at the beginning of the year, and most of the end-of-the-year people have left although they're still my friends), and freshman banquet was hyper-lame, so I can kinda understand it. I never remember meeting anyone, either (which is kinda bad, because guys or friends will always be like, "Aww, remember when we met?" and I invariably have to admit, "Ummm...no, not at all"). And I really don't want to go this year, or in fact do much of anything this weekend at the moment. Mmmflaaah.

Had one of those weird moments today when you realize that although you may consider someone a close friend and they may share your political/social opinions in general, that person is not always going to think exactly the way you do about everything. ^_^ Seems really simple, doesn't it? It is; someone just said something today that made me blink several times quite rapidly. Know the kind of moment I mean?

Actually, I had another weird moment where I was the only one blinking today as well. In English I said something that seemed to me like the most natural and obvious thing in the world, and Matt thought it was supremely bizarre. -_- Behhh. Perhaps I'm just strange? That explanation seems to make sense, as this kind of thing happens on a semi-regular basis.

Y'know what I want right now? Raspberry sorbet, followed by a long, hot bubble bath. Hey, it's exam week; I deserve the indulgence. Sounds like a plan for the evening--only bummer is the solitude!

Lev Vygotsky was not on the AP Psych text. I am so pissed about this.

Just wrapped up another argument with Mom, who is of the opinion that:
1) I should really be studying for tomorrow's IB Bio exam right now,
2) I should really not go to class tomorrow so I can study for the IB Bio exam, and
3) I should really be studying for the IB Bio exam, given my likely score on the AP Psych exam, if I want to continue to breathe.

Dad just stuck up for me and asked her to let me go to class. I hate that he had to get angry to get me the victory, but I'm gonna be at school tomorrow, so this is really not the hill I want to die on.

Actually, the AP Psych test wasn't that bad, although I completely went "Availability heuristic WTF O_____o?!?!?!?11" But every time I saw Freud's name, I became insanely happy (must be repressed sexual desires? Nah, more likely that I'm really, really familiar with the basics of psychoanalytic theory). Frizzoid in the heezy! XD (Sorry, no one but Josh is gonna get that.)

Maybe I really will study. Given my IA grades, my IB Bio grade may well be a crapshoot anyway.

One profoundly amusing thing happened today. I present to you Liz's definition of anal fixation: "Ass-kissing." We warmed up before the exam by trying to diagnose the proctor (either anal-retentive or obsessive-compulsive, or possibly both).

I KNOW WHAT LITHIUM IS USED TO TREAT. *far too proud*

Bloody mouse is not working. Needs new batteries.

AP Psych exam this afternoon and I really, really need a tutor who's on a first-name basis with god if I have any intention of passing. Mom is starting to look like she's about to go all "I did not teach this subject in college for god-knows-how-long and raise my daughter to get anything less than a 5 on this exam" on my ass, so I'm thinking it will very soon be time to go back to looking like I am studying.

I was really freaking out about Lev Vygotsky earlier, because the AP guide lists him as a major developmental theorist to know and I'd never heard of him. O__o Turns out he's in my textbook. Twice. It's just that no one else ever mentioned him, ever. Even Mom had to look him up. Damn you, AP.

But now I know who Lev Vygotsky is, so I really, really hope he's on there or I'm going to be moderately bitter. I hope he's an essay question. Burn, competing AP Psych candidates everywhere. Buuuurnn.

Mike has reappeared! Very strange; I was just talking to Kat about him at the coffee shop the other day.

Looks like I'll end up cutting as many of the banquets this weekend as possible (so much for those new dresses!), but there's always the remote possibility that I'll go out to dinner for Matt's birthday instead, so who cares about rubber chicken and shoes that leak glitter anyway?

Hmm. I could really use some more coffee.

Bored with humanity tonight. Normally I'm fascinated by people, but at the moment they all seem so dull. Every last one of them has the same base set of needs, motivations and desires; know one and you know them all. Learn how to work one and you can work them all. And they all think of themselves the same way. Why don't we as a species get along more efficiently with each other? Despite minor cosmetic differences, we're irritatingly uniform.

Seems like everything's in shutdown mode until morning. I could kill for a little action.

They say you're never fully dressed without a smile, and with that kind of gap in my wardrobe today, I might as well have gone naked. No, I jest; I was only underdressed internally. I think I actually overdressed externally, leaving me as usual comfortably at equilibrium.

But I'm exhausted. Zinged to Tampa last night, where the cheerful people put me up in a hotel containing the most sinfully comfortable beds ever created as well as an amazingly large assortment of other cheerful people. The reading this morning went pretty well--nice small crowd, maybe one or two hundred. As any public speaker will tell you, there are two components to a good crowd: size and type. The type was impeccable, but that's a tough size. I prefer to work with fewer than five or more than five hundred; with a small group you have a lot of intimacy and you can tailor what you're doing to individuals, whereas even mediocre jokes usually fly with a large enough group because it's easier to get reactions started. Best crowd I've ever read for was the twelve hundred in Anaheim, which scored perfect tens in both components. But all this is neither here nor there.

We got lunch at an Asian bistro (think jinja, but with even more homosexual busboys) at International Plaza in the city and then headed back for tonight's banquet in Maitland, which was as stupor-inducing as ever. They always make a large fuss over me and Mom, so all of this made me a bit relieved that I hadn't dragged poor Matt through it as well. But everyone all day was very gracious, and I shook hands with several dozen people whom I couldn't pick out of a crowd by now if my life depended on it, and we got two free (and very expensive) squares in one day. So all in all, not bad. The only real drawback aside from having to spend so much time looking interested and sucking in my stomach was the atrocious grammar in the evening's speeches, which was a little ironic in a roomful of educators and really got me worried about the future of SCPS.

Urggh, and both factions booked me for a couple of other speaking engagements as well within the next month; why don't I ever say no to anyone? And why is it only prostitution that I'm called upon to read, not anything better or at least better liked by me? I may well install myself on a street corner one of these days with a microphone and read feminist-colored love poems until the cops drag me off for my Vogon impression. I mean, hell, at least I'd enjoy it.

Did indeed fail to secure myself the four(??) grand this year, which is troublesome. Well, I had a formula that worked and I went out on a bit of a limb with my prostitution, so there's my slap on the wrist. I did secure the spot I wanted at UVA, but now I'm not sure I'll go anyway. I'm really leaning toward the program at Iowa despite the fact that it's in the middle of Rural Corn-Infested Hell, mainly because of Thisbe Nissen, but if we're really going to do Metro then I intend to call UVA and accept their generous offer. I think I have to decide tomorrow, which is nicht gut--I could use Monday to figure it out. Oh, well. I can always go to the other one next year, I suppose.

I'd like some quick cash over the summer, though, so I may have to try to dash out a few stories over the next couple weeks and try to sell them to some poor bastard who doesn't recognize cheaply-written dreck when he sees it. Or maybe I'll have to hike over to Giovanni's and get a real job, but that's much less appealing.

Mercifully, I have nowhere to be tomorrow, so I intend to part the clouds (by force, if necessary) and get a damn tan. Went back and bought the white dress after all, and then bought another one for good measure. In your face, ESoD.

Wonder how the SAT went.

And I'm off to Tampa for another literary odyssey. This sounds like it'll be an interesting trip. More linguistic love later, hep cats.

Oh, my god. Now the facist bastards who run our public schools are persecuting supporters of Hispanic culture. Stolen from Hannah, because not all my friends know her. If you've ever thought that zero-tolerance policies go too far or that school administrators are too quick to jump on students' backs...you have no idea.

So here's part of the reason I dig Bryce: not only does he send me cool music, but he has a knack for cheering me up just when I happen to be a little down. To wit, today, on the epithet "false goddess": "Don't bring yourself down like that. If there was a goddess of angry sex worker shoes...you'd be it. Nice shoes today, BTW." XD They were the ruby slippers. People kept making me click my heels together all day.

Life has improved a good deal in the last several hours. Dinner from Giovanni's, which makes the world a better place all on its own. We're going to postpone the Ramune party--still a hellhole quagmire, and this week's meeting is sounding evil too, but I am really irrationally thrilled about the junior meeting. Hooray! I think we should have them weekly. In the dead of night.

Gah. I'm talking to Minky Momo, and he was just telling me about a conversation he had with this chick he's kinda-sorta seeing about their future dreams. And she wants to have a lot of money and children and live in Europe, to which he replied that horn players in Europe make a lot of money. So she started saying that she should marry one, and he agreed, and so on...told him fools rush in. He tells me he's kidding, which may or may not be true. Probably is, but...I don't know; I imagine it would be tough to be married to someone with that kind of insurpassable passion--for something else, something completely intangible. You'd have to have a superhuman sense of personal security. Well, hell, he's young, he should have his dreams. We should all have them while we still have time. But the girl is turning him into quite the poet, which makes me smile. How very like a certain other young bespectacled intellectual he can be at times.

"Wait for the morn where a tangled fever and a thoughtless word become a joyous reality." Sometimes beauty appears in the least expected places. I'd like to post the rest because it's something I've only ever been able to describe more colloquially, but it's his. Ask him about it sometime, though, if you know him; the rest of this passage from which I've quoted revolved around a theme I've been playing with lately.

Urk, math homework calls. Cannot wait for dawn.